I may lack the tail feathers needed to flirt like a peacock but i’ve never seen them manage to rock the Running Man dance so I think it’s clear who the real winner is here
Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car
Photobombing Giraffe 😅
Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction
opening twitter before 9am is crazy like did you even try to have a good day
oh to be lowered into a toaster with you, my bread slice wife
instructions: stir halfway through cooking then put back in microwave
me: oui chef
Why everyone forces introverts to be talkative and get out of their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut the fuck up even for a minute so the zone becomes comfortable.
I think suicide is selfish because there’s probably somebody out there who already really wants to kill you
dril cadence
this is the single funniest twitter ad i’ve ever seen. it gets better the more you look at it. they used to have apple and nike advertising on this website
I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.
I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good