The worst thing about working from home is when you get on a customer call, the Amazon driver shows up, and you have a dog.
my phone suggesting a strong password:
kybdgQqwPlhg53!&68fme: how tf did it know my childhood dogâs name?
Toilet roll shortage. Fine.
Potatoes. Yes whatever.
Chocolate shortage.. PANIC BUY.
Doctor: your body has run out of magnesium
Me: 0mg
My 7yo said she hurt herself, and when my 9yo asked her to describe the pain, she just yelled, “AAAAAAAHHHHH” đđ
Gen Z will be like âOMG new life hack!â And then itâs a video of them adjusting the toaster dial
Age 25: I need cute shoes for this event.
Age 45: I need cute shoes for this event that I can also wear to work and walk several miles in, donât make me look old or like Iâm trying too hard, wonât hurt my little toe or lower back, will last a minimum of 10 years & are on sale.
Bought my daughter a cheap ‘Miss Piggy’ purse but sadly it was very pork wallety.
Me: Donât you get sick of playing the same video game for hours on end?
Son: No.
Me: *hasnât looked up from Twitter feed in 12 years* thatâs so weird.
[First date]
Me: I’m gonna need to hear how you think the word “loser” is spelled.
thought i was going straight into retirement after high school with all that beanie baby money.
[a food doesnât agree with me] i donât recall asking for your opinion
where do you get off assuming i donât love stupid prizes? *proceeds to play stupid games*
Everybody thinks âFree Hugsâ signs are cute, unless youâre a boa constrictor.
when iâm stressed out it really helps to hold all the worldâs bad news six inches from my face til 2am