My friend asked if I had any spare cash to pay for his straw.
Unfortunately l hadn’t got the bale money
deleting my mental health to focus on social media
The whole “Hugs, Not Drugs” campaign was so stupid because, back when I did drugs, I can assure you, there was so much hugging going on…
every day my youngest daughter asks if i am here for the “silly billy look-a-like contest.” how much of this is a good man meant to take before he is radicalized
Lord, the restaurants you put on this earth to provide noontime sustenance are advertising $17 lunch specials
I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum
I forgot to take my packed lunch to work today, but luckily I found a banana which was strangely duct taped to a wall
I’m looking for a documentary on small rivers. Does anyone know a good streaming service?
“age is just a number” yeah the older i get the number i feel
It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store
if we get nuked while i’m at work i’m gonna be so mad
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until you’re sure most the birds have flown south.
Snow joke. Follow us all season long for more important winter tips!
“We’d love to hear your feedback about our site!”
I don’t think you will….
Optimist: The cup is half full.
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.
Taxidermist: The cup was empty, but I stuffed it full again.
Bigamist: I think this is Rachel’s cup. Or Amy’s. Maybe Susan’s?
Alarmist: Someone drank out of my cup! Watch out for thirsty burglars, people!