Wearing thermal leggings at my age means I need to go to the toilet 3 minutes before I need to go to the toilet.
I could start my day without coffee, but I like to say words, and put on clothes
People say I’m an idiot for using superglue instead of bonjela, but I’m sticking to my gums.
Police charged me with postmeditated murder because I meditated first.
A delivery service only for potatoes (and some other root veggies): TuberEats
Climax comes before effort, but only in a dictionary.
Nice injury you got there. Be a real shame if someone added insult to it.
When I was a kid I had to walk to Netflix
“this too shall pass” okay but like… when exactly
I love seeing cute puppy and dog videos where they’re loving getting pampered and groomed…I’ve personally never experienced a cool dog like that.
Mine always act like I’m about to sacrifice them to the gods.
whenever I see a lady mail carrier i’m like ok slay that’s a woman in a mail dominated field
The trick to keeping Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan is to take away their little brooms