Hot-cross buns!
Hot-cross buns!
One a penny, two a penny,
Hot-cross buns!– I’ll have two then please.
Rather than changing the clock on your oven simply cook your food an hour ago.
I love hot cross buns. There should be more cakes inspired by the death penalty.
I miss the days where someone would tell us shit like “Mick Jagger is Kesha’s dad” and we’d all just believe it for months because it didn’t matter if it was true or not
So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?
Me (being caught in bed with an optical illusion): it’s not what it looks like.
Why did they call them buddy cops and not palice?
“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”
Was testing the fire alarms in the house, and all the kids wandered out of their bedrooms thinking dinner was ready.
Great seizure this morning! We found 10 kg of c*****e in a statue. The 9kg of c*****e was weighed and bagged and, I can tell you, 7kg of c*****e took a fair few bags. We’ll hand the 4kg to the police after analysing the 2kg first. Well done Customs on finding the 300 grams!
drivers seem to underestimate how willing i am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point
It costs over $330,00 for parents to raise a child to the age of 18
And that’s just for the alcohol
no matter how shitty your morning is at your office job today at least you didn’t underwrite the insurance policy for a cargo ship that took out an $800 million bridge
The writer is someone who decides school wasn’t enough homework and they actually need homework for the rest of their lives
Sometimes I just want to take my three dollars and run away.