My humor is broken
Been banned from every restaurant in my town for refusing to stop calling lasagna ‘Italian meat cake’.
Going to a hair-washing party tonight. Really don’t want to go but I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out of it.
An app where you and your SO swipe left and right on restaurants until there鈥檚 a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who鈥檚 building this?
I thought you all should know that there’s a guy who just does VR drunk driving all day
I finally gave up telling my Boomer mum there’s no fine for not rewinding the movie after watching it anymore… Netflix have people who do that after you go to bed, mum!
Just crossed the border into Germany and the border police asked “Where did you come from? Where did you go?”
AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF MY SELF-RESTRAINT 馃ぃ
Weird how parrots and I tend to share the same opinions
lmao馃槶馃ぃ
cigarette breaks used to be a great excuse to step away when I felt overwhelmed in social settings until I quit. now I try to get some space and people are like WHERE ARE YOU GOING and I’m like idk I just like to be away from you more often than this
mission: save the cat
obstacles: the cat