When a food fight breaks out during Thanksgiving dinner, creamed corn casserole finally reaches its full potential.
The dark circles under my eyes are so dark that if I stop shaving my legs, my transition into a raccoon will finally be complete
thinking about the time i ran into my brother serendipitously on the streets of manhattan and he said hi and kept walking like we were in a hallway in our house
The coziness of a bed is directly proportional to how inhospitable the outside environment is. The beds on oil rigs and in arctic research stations would thus rank among the coziest; the hypothetical least cozy bed would be one that exists in a land entirely made up of pillows
I’m bringing microwave mashed potatoes to my works Thanksgiving lunch because I dont really like any of my coworkers enough to peel potatoes for them.
Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point
They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette
[Scooby Doo at an interview]
Interviewer: May I see your CV?
Scooby: *hands CV over* Rrres you may!
Interviewer: Round here we call it a CV.
John Krasinski is People’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2024.
i got lost and locked in a stairwell at the NYC office and all i can think about is this meme while i wait for someone to save me
So, when we talk about history repeating itself are we talking just fashion trends or can I start prepping for a pet dinosaur ?
Priorities
