People always ask me why I listen to audiobooks on my headphones while Iโm in the gym. Itโs because I canโt read.
People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.
11: (squeezes my face) Itโs just like squeezing SpongeBob
Me: Why?
11: (laughs)Because your face is full of holes
๐๐ค๐ง๐๐จ, ๐จ๐๐โ๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ฉ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ฅ๐ค๐ง๐๐จ
๐๐๐ง ๐ง๐ค๐๐จ๐ฉ๐จ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ค๐ก๐๐๐๐ก
this 4 hour meeting could have just been someone pulling my finger nails off one by one with pliers.
anxiety is soooo crazy bc why do i have diarrhea cuz im scared of something that hasnโt happened yet. what purpose does this diarrhea serve evolutionary
you aren’t “dehydrated”, you have attachment issues and you were denied water as a child
hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems like baby you are supposed to be a mental disorder please stay in your line
Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.
Them: How corny are your jokes?
Me: Pretty corny
Nobody:
Shampoo bottle when Iโm in the shower: