“Have you seen the cat, Sam?”
“The what now?”
Husband made a meme about our baby’s reaction every time he sees the cat
Talk about a bad egg
😤😤
I shortened the rope on the bucket used to collect the village’s water. Didn’t go down well.
Kids will really get mad and tell you Mom don’t ever do THAT again, and THAT is just sending fruit in their school lunch
“Awkward silences are the worst”
*Someone, inventing the kazoo… probably
I’m making fish cakes covered in breadcrumbs. I’ve never been covered in breadcrumbs before, never mind made fish cakes.
“I’m sick to death of people saying we’ve made 11 albums that sound exactly the same. In fact, we’ve made 12 albums that sound exactly the same.” ― Angus Young, AC/DC
Hoping for an open bar at the toddler birthday, but I have cash just in case.
Finally
kids are all grown up so I guess it’s time to teach the cat to drive
Boss: you’re late
Me: I know, and I’ve decided to keep it. See you in court
Boss: I hate you
As an actor, I do my best work when jobs call me as a reference for my friends