Are you a robot? Select all images with weak points in humanity’s defenses.
i love muttering “none of my business” as i delete an email that is definitely my business
Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.
A McRib killed my tapeworm.
Sorry, I liked your tweet one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012
Approached a patron who was cooking a pot of ramen at a study table and said “I’m sorry but you can’t do that in the library.”
Indignantly they responded “Where do you expect me to do it? At my house?”
And I was like “Well when you say it like that it does sound unreasonable.”
Robots are now performing major surgeries, which means my dream of having the Fox NFL robot give me a prostate exam is closer than ever.
400 fucking grocery carts to choose from and I always pick the Ford Pinto with a flat tire.
I miss 2006 when everyone was young and dumb and easy to trick.
Take care of yourself so you can better turn the tables on any serial killer type situation, should it arise.
Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?
Just my luck I get a hypnotist with pink eye.
I hydrated. Surrender now.
It should cost money to watch me bend over to pick something up off the floor
like swimming in quick dry cement