TV Show Idea:
Speculation news.
A sort of news programme that uses a small amount of information and stretches it out for hours on end with absolutely no further facts other than speculation based on nothing at all, by self appointed experts in unrelated subjects.
Californians complain when it rains then complain when there’s a drought. Cmon guys do we wanna be wet or not!!
They’re going to start pairing TV shows w/medications. “If you’re taking this, this and this… watch this!”
as a kid: i have to save up for this toy
as an adult: i have to save up for this rent
If I were Noah, I’d bring 3 of every animal just to create some drama.
I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today”
europeans read a lot because their television shows suck
This is the final season of Young Sheldon.
I hope they don’t kill him off.
How long can you let the bidet run before it switches from business to pleasure?
My 6yo was losing in a game of air hockey with my 9yo, got frustrated and refused to continue. I tried talking to her about not giving up in these situations and she said “Well, you give up when you’re arguing with mommy.”
Who called it a baby playpen and not a crawl space?
Atlantic Canada was hit with its heaviest snowfall in 20 years. If you live in Atlantic Canada, you…probably noticed.
never staying in an air bnb again. this couple from colorado is taking me to small claims court because i accidentally opened a portal to hell in their basement
Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.
Me: How was school?
11-year-old: It was a normal day.
Me: So it was good?
11: I didn’t say that at all.
