Persuading my cat to go outside in the cold is a bit like when I had to encourage my daughter to go down the slide when she was 5.
Go on.
You can do it.
Brave girl.
GO ON.
My husband and l have a secret to making our marriage last. Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, drink a little wine, eat good food, and enjoy
companionship.
He goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
“you live and you learn” brother I don’t want to do either of those things
I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me
My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart
Something in my kitchen is beeping quietly 3 times every minute. I can’t find it and it’s driving me crazy. My husband wouldn’t even hear it with his hearing aids in. I’ve never been more jealous of hearing loss.
Me: do you think I’ll get my harmonica back after the trial?
My Lawyer: I told you ten times not to bring it.
My birthstone is pecan pie.
serving silly goose instead of turkey
People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.
My next door neighbor just stole my gate and I want to confront him about it…
But I’m worried he might take a fence.
#Jokes
