I just squealed when I saw my daughter brought home 2 lost water bottles from school. This is my life now.
🥲
Leaving an open jar of mayo on my desk in case anyone needs a hit
me to God
Wolf: [in sheep’s clothing] let me in
Pig: nope
Wolf: [walking away] this costume sucks
PSA: if you are experiencing performance issues in Stardew Valley 1.6, remove all hats from pets. We will address the problem as soon as possible
Met someone on a dating app and my message autocorrected nice to meet you with nice to wet you so that was an immediate match for him.
Frantically deleting all my negative tweets about The Hamburglar after I get a job at McDonald’s
I just locked eyes with a spider.
But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.