Waiting in the coffee drive-thru line impatiently watching the driver in front of me chatting with the barista and my 12 y/o sighs and says, “C’mon, lady, she’s not your therapist, move along.” Never get between a middle school girl and her Frappuccino.
The horror:
“Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone”.
“I wondered if I could use a study room that’s private and out of the line of sight where nobody can see or hear what I’m doing in there.”
“Well, since you put it that way, absolutely not.”
Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.
anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after
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Me: Same.
Today in my classroom
Me: I almost didn’t come in to work today
Student: oh, where do you work?
The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that
big fan of the comma, just great. like look, i just made you pause the sentence as you read it. oh look, i just did it again.
[waking up in a ice-filled bathtub with a fresh wound across my abdomen] oh Jesus God no, somebody took my wolves
spoke to a 93 year old retired english teacher earlier and she stopped me mid conversation to say “please don’t end your sentence with a preposition” ok! i actually don’t know what that is
They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”
If you’d like to have an orange house I highly suggest purchasing your kids some cheese balls.
Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.
I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.
