I fall in love too easily.
Wait..
It’s ditches, I fall in ditches too easily
Welcome to earth! You have a choice of private parts. Would you like the one that creates life & bleeds or the constant bad decision maker?
My favorite pastime is roasting marshmallows over the bridges I burn.
Dance like you’re not the father
Europe. Made in Germany.
I always use a short cut when I’m going to knife fight a midget.
If you slept with my husband I’d be like “OMG how much do I owe you?”
Welcome to Alzheimer’s Club
I see a lot of new faces today
I don’t care which way you swing, guy wearing a Tapout t-shirt & Capri pants, but you’ve GOT to make a choice.
Sure, my bologna has a first name, but he’s a stickler for manners so he insists we still call him Mr. Bologna.
‘You’re beautiful and I love you,” I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied “I just want to be friends.”
What do we want?
A CURE FOR PARANOIA
When do we want it?
WHO WANTS TO KNOW
You can’t have your cake and thigh gap too.
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I’m in.