Why hasn’t somebody opened a coffee shop next to a courthouse called ‘On What Grounds?’ Send
My friend just told me that he can print a gun using a 3D printer, but I’m not impressed. I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
It used to be that at least once a week you’d walk down the street and see a piano dropped on someone’s head from an apartment above and that person would pop out of the top with piano key teeth. this is what they’ve taken from us
hello yes welcome, would you like something to drink? I have the milk of various nuts? season three of la croix? perhaps the ginger beer I was optimistic about last summer but it turned out to be so incredibly violent? mouth spritz of whipped cream?
the school sent my 7yo home with a recorder and she is foregoing learning actual songs so she can “perfect her police and ambulance siren sounds” god help me
Me: finally drifting off to sleep
The alarm: you’re not gonna believe this
Experts: A serving size of chips is 10 chips.
Me: I eat 10 chips while standing in the pantry with the bag open, trying to decide if I want to eat chips.
If you guys are missing any mugs, they’re all on my husband’s nightstand
*shaking my boyfriend awake* babe. babe. what was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread.
it was the best of times (adding to cart) it was the worst of times (seeing the total plus shipping)
Yes the weather in Iowa is bad, but the options are worse
I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.
My kids love when I tell them the story of how I became the hide and seek champion. The year was 1995, and I was playing hide and seek with my dad. I went outside and got on the roof. He couldn’t find me. After an hour of looking for me, he called the cops. Yeah… I got spanked.
A word of caution from someone who took two (2) of his kids to their initial orthodontist appointments today: Before you decide that you can afford to have children, remember that children have teeth.
your quarterback name is your grandfather’s first name and the last thing you did mine’s Dom Paintwall. ok you go