Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
and on the 8th day, god created a website for u to meet the hot christian singles in ur area
“I just got engaged!”
— Starship Enterprise
If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I’m having sex.
Probably with the other sock.
Smelled my finger after I took the bandaid off of it.
Don’t do that.
I just plugged the charger into my phone, in the correct hole, on the first try.
So it IS possible, guys.
IT. IS. POSSIBLE.
I get out of awkward conversations by pulling a balloon out, making a dog and just say I need to take it for a walk.
Yelling REEEEEMIX, when your boss stutters on a conference call is looked down upon.
I scream. You scream. We all scream. This fancy wine bars toilet gender signs were unclear.
my doctor asked if it burns when I pee. I said only when it gets in my eyes.
So, when people say “LOLZ”, does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?
Gay marriage is about to become legal in England. Hey, America, how does it feel when your parents are cooler than you?
Got paired with a classmate for a Criminal law Project, so I guess now we’re partners in crime.
I have been using teeth whitener, and now they are completely oblivious to the experiences and sufferings of other peoples.
Do you people like your catfish battered and deep fried?