If Minnie Driver married Bradley Cooper her name would be oh god I can’t even finish this one
My 3yo said Cheese is her favorite place. I don’t know if I should be worried that she thinks cheese is a place or sad because it’s not.
The movie ”Finding Nemo” would’ve lasted only 5 minutes if his mother would’ve looked for him.
“It’s 3am and everyone is asleep. Must run into random rooms as fast as I can and jump on everything” – cats
im not a morning person. in the morning i am a goat
I bet dogs have a really hard time playing Twister
Left paw: grey
Other left paw: darker grey, but not the darkest grey. Sort of in between
I like to skip when I’m carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.
“We’ve been doing this for years, I simply can’t be bothered thinking up another long scientific name. Drink?” – people who named the fly.
Hey, guy in Prius blasting heavy metal – decide which type of annoying person you want to be.
Sorry I yelled “GET A ROOM!” at your grandson’s wrestling tournament.
This hot girl asked me to recommend some music so i said Pink Floyd, she said “I didn’t know Pink used her last name as well” Now she’s dead
*posts selfie with full makeup and 3 filters*
Caption:
I’m so sick, I feel like dog crap & I look sooooo gross
Congratulations to our winner, Todd, who correctly guessed there were “hella jellybeans” in the jar.
Longest English word:
‘pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosi’Longest Spanish word: ‘GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL’
[meeting at round table]
“King Arthur, if I may?”
“Go ahead.”
“Castles but bouncier.”
“Bouncy castles?”
“But you gotta take your shoes off.”