The iPad Air is named after what’s left in your bank account when you buy one.
You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away and know when to run – ORIGAMI not for everyone !
“If anyone has any reason Kim & Kanye should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.” -Taylor Swift’s moment of revenge
My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell versus actual doorbell baffles him every time.
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
Well, if anything, the Mayans DID teach us ONE valuable lesson.
If you don’t finish something…it’s really not the end of the world.
Happy Passive Aggressive day! Don’t worry, I didn’t want you to get me anything anyway. No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.
Video games don’t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do
Mary had a little lamb.. And then she had a very large kebab.
Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track.
When life hands you women, make women laid.
Don’t let that “Metalica” t-shirt fool you. She knows every word to Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball”
Kim Kardashian’s birthday is today AND she got engaged to Kanye West! It’s almost like it was made for TV! Wait….
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
ANNOUNCEMENT: DENIM CLUB MEETING IS CANCELLED. AVERY RIPPED HIS JEAN VEST AT THE SUPERMARKET. HE’S OKAY, BUT VERY UPSET.