My boyfriend threw out the packaging for our turkey crown. The packaging with the cooking instructions on it. Because I am a generous and mature person I said “never mind, I should have said.” And HE SAID “yes you should have really”.
And that’s what happened your honour.
You fools! Whether or not
Die Hard is a Christmas movie doesn’t really matter. The tradition of arguing over it is what counts. 🎄🎅🏻🌃
[inventing the grinch] santa needs a wario
I don’t want to alarm anyone but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas
had to tell my son that santa isn’t real in the middle of the night because he was hysterical about a strange man coming into the house, but made him *promise* not to tell his younger sister that he doesn’t exist. so instead he told her that santa’s dead
there are rumors. that someone came down the chimney last night. this is preposterous. i would have lost my mind
All I want for Christmas is someone to love and a horse solves crimes.
In the rookiest of moves, at 4:30PM on Christmas Eve, my husband asked what our 5yo what he is most excited to get from Santa tomorrow
SOMEONE LEFT. A FULL PLATE OF COOKIES. AND A GLASS OF MILK. RIGHT BY THE FIREPLACE FOR ME. I AM NOT KIDDING. WHAT A NIGHT
Wishing everyone who’s visiting their parents for Christmas a very water tastes wrong.
No one gaslights better than a toddler caught red-handed.
[Toddler covered in icing]
Did you touch the cake?
NO YOU DID
Wrapped gifts: boring, predictable
Burying the gifts around the yard: creative, perplexing
Last minute Christmas shopping at Costco in the 10 TVs or less line.
*making cookies with 3*
Me: Santa will love these!
3:
Me: we need to leave some cookies out for Santa
3:
Me:
3: just one.
10: “Did you know Saturn was discovered in 1610?”
8: “That’s not a real year.”