“I do not negotiate with terrorists!” said me, everyday, multiple times a day, to my children.
Careful…I’ve already had our entire fight in my head and it doesn’t end well for you.
it says here you got fired from Olive Garden because you kept saying
“pasta la vista, baby” to people. why would you put that on a resume
I hate what you’ve done with the place.
My safe word is “insufficient funds”.
Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101.
Today’s class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you’re here now, you failed.
You can tell by a woman’s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
do u know the muffin man
the muffin man
the muffin man
do u know the muffin man
that lives on d-d-d-d-d-d
DROP THE BASS*club goes nuts*
Hey! Welcome to Urban Outfitters. Are you a baby-sized woman or a woman-sized man?
Women do things I can’t even imagine doing: give birth, close cabinet doors, etc.
Did you ever think about ten years ago you’d be saying.. “I really hope this is a chick I’m talking to”.
Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up.
And throw them.
The Mayan Calendar doesn’t really stop at 2012, they just ran out of sexy firefighters.
In Canada, she’s Kilometery Cyrus.
Wife: I finally caught you. I could hear it from the other room. You were watching a dirty movie. Me: No. Its just womens tennis.