Gonna get “na na na na na na na na” tattooed on my forearm. I’ll tell girls it’s Hey Jude and I’ll tell dudes it’s the Batman theme.
Next time a job interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years, say “Why TELL you when I can SHOW you?” then just sit there for 5 years.
I was holding the door for an Asian guy and he said “sank you.” So I punched him. Cant believe that he brought up Pearl Harbor lke that
About four minutes into any run I decide to work on my personality instead.
a bunch of us teens are going out to the forest to burn a piece of paper that says ‘responsibilities’ on it. for symbolism
Every motorcycle cop is a liquid terminator until proven otherwise.
Not to brag but my bank says I have an outstanding balance.
“I do not negotiate with terrorists!” said me, everyday, multiple times a day, to my children.
Careful…I’ve already had our entire fight in my head and it doesn’t end well for you.
it says here you got fired from Olive Garden because you kept saying
“pasta la vista, baby” to people. why would you put that on a resume
I hate what you’ve done with the place.
My safe word is “insufficient funds”.
Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101.
Today’s class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you’re here now, you failed.
You can tell by a woman’s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
do u know the muffin man
the muffin man
the muffin man
do u know the muffin man
that lives on d-d-d-d-d-d
DROP THE BASS*club goes nuts*