If my “check engine” light would check my wallet, it would know there’s nothing I can do about it.
Who’d win if Batman fought Santa? Before u say Batman, just remember who’s watching you answer.
The irony of being a horse is you could lift weights all day and you will still only have 1 horsepower
When I hear teenagers talk I wonder why there’s not a high school class dedicated to learning the definition of the word “literally”
Relationship status: Invented an imaginary GF, but she just wanted to be ‘friends’ and slept with my dad. Typical.
You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.
If you want to know how Irish my family is, my parents don’t have a liquor cabinet, they have a liquor closet
Right next to the beer fridge
Maybe if wommen’s uteroids weren’t such powerful mystery-swamps, the GOP wouldn’t have to police them with #light & #K9 units.
Please boss, tell us again how important it is the company gets to $3 billion in revenue. I bought an 18 pack of beer with dimes last night.
Local Singles 2.9 Miles From Your Area
*refresh page*
Local Singles 3.7 Miles From Y..
“no dont leave”
*refresh page*
Local Singles 7.8 Mile
Fun Prank
1.) Go to Yoga class
2.) Compliment some people on their mats
3.) Unroll 20×25 oriental rug.
Years ago, scientists knew barely anything about space! It was probably because those scientists were babies
If you had more money you’d be happier.
Helen Hunt but only when Helen hungry.
My brother & I’ve competed for title of family black sheep for yrs.
He checked in at a strip-club…on FB.Well played brother, well played