If my girlfriend doesn’t start being nicer to me, I’m totally gonna bottle up my rage and stay in this shitty relationship for 2 more years.
Every time you block report some porn bot for spam, I lose another follower.
Each one of us has a secret. My secret is that I can’t keep a secret. Also Jill is a lesbian.
Sometimes you look at an ex and think maybe they’re not so bad. And then they start to talk and remind you why you hate them.
You are right, 27 is “just a number” but I’m looking for a man, not a boy.
No offense.
PS: Save my number… just in case I change my mind.
Not enough drugs in the world that would make me strip in front of a webcam. But a bottle of wine should do it.
Anyone who believes in cyber-bullying is a huge pussy.
TEENS: You might find yourself “embarrassed” by certain things your body is doing, when in fact, you should be ashamed.
I like to listen to Anu Malik’s music while I study because he is a constant reminder on why it’s important to get educated.
My girlfriend asked me to act like an animal in bed. So I peed on the pillow.
to someone with x-ray vision two people making out look like skeletons that are really bad at eating each other
My neighbor’s dog is so popular that every time he barks, the neighborhood dogs RT him.
Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it’s the tennis kind.
I don’t talk about my ex’s because I like to start of with a clean slate. That, and they’re dead to me. Well, to everyone, but mostly me.
Putting an ‘e’ at the end of words (ie Pointe, Crowne) makes something fancy as shite.