Anyone else having a near life experience today?
I’m not above selling your kidney or my oldest child for a phone charger. I mean, if it came down to it. Not just like for fun.
The fact that no one understands you does not mean you’re an artist.
Quit honking at me dammit, the stop sign is still red!
“Everyday I’m mumblin'”-Bane
Idk why this guy is alway bitching about his wife, she seems great. When I ate his lunch today the”I love u”note she left him made me smile.
Sleeping without you is a waste of bed.
Why are the states most in need of abortion so against it?
When you think about it, ‘I’ll pray for you’ is essentially saying ‘I’ll talk to myself about your problem’. Good luck!
Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that’s Fahrenheit or centigrade.
I got fired from my office job for misunderstanding the meaning of 3 hole punch.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is the most whimsical film about the systematic murder of children that I have ever seen.
I just finished a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn’t mine.
Just heard they’re investigating a slaughterhouse in California for animal cruelty. IT’S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE
Just heard they’re investigating a slaughterhouse in California for animal cruelty. IT’S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE