Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that’s Fahrenheit or centigrade.
I got fired from my office job for misunderstanding the meaning of 3 hole punch.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is the most whimsical film about the systematic murder of children that I have ever seen.
I just finished a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn’t mine.
Just heard they’re investigating a slaughterhouse in California for animal cruelty. IT’S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE
Just heard they’re investigating a slaughterhouse in California for animal cruelty. IT’S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE
Just heard they’re investigating a slaughterhouse in California for animal cruelty. IT’S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE
I wish there was some sort of idiom to describe how easily I just took that lollipop from that infant.
I wish there was some sort of idiom to describe how easily I just took that lollipop from that infant.
I wish there was some sort of idiom to describe how easily I just took that lollipop from that infant.
If he says I love you and you’re not ready to say it back, just say “I know.” He’ll think you’re being cute and quoting Star Wars. Win-Win.
If he says I love you and you’re not ready to say it back, just say “I know.” He’ll think you’re being cute and quoting Star Wars. Win-Win.
hey, teens who listen to classic rock: you were probably conceived to some of your favorite songs.
hey, teens who listen to classic rock: you were probably conceived to some of your favorite songs.
Nothing says “thought of you, and masturbated” like ‘liking’ a girl’s Facebook photo from 2009.