I fell asleep listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and woke up illiterate.
Just tested the structural integrity of a door frame with my face. It’s pretty solid.
Just tested the structural integrity of a door frame with my face. It’s pretty solid.
Charlie Sheen’s herpes have herpes and those herpes have gonorrhea and that gonorrhea had an abortion in high school.
Charlie Sheen’s herpes have herpes and those herpes have gonorrhea and that gonorrhea had an abortion in high school.
7yo: “Who’s singing this?” Me: “Franz Ferdinand.” 7yo: “But, he died in 1914.” Me:
7yo: “Who’s singing this?” Me: “Franz Ferdinand.” 7yo: “But, he died in 1914.” Me:
I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
Can’t believe the Obama 2012 campaign isn’t using the slogan “Once you go black, you don’t go back.”
Can’t believe the Obama 2012 campaign isn’t using the slogan “Once you go black, you don’t go back.”
My wife is constantly hiding things where they belong.
My wife is constantly hiding things where they belong.