If he says I love you and you’re not ready to say it back, just say “I know.” He’ll think you’re being cute and quoting Star Wars. Win-Win.
If he says I love you and you’re not ready to say it back, just say “I know.” He’ll think you’re being cute and quoting Star Wars. Win-Win.
hey, teens who listen to classic rock: you were probably conceived to some of your favorite songs.
hey, teens who listen to classic rock: you were probably conceived to some of your favorite songs.
Nothing says “thought of you, and masturbated” like ‘liking’ a girl’s Facebook photo from 2009.
Nothing says “thought of you, and masturbated” like ‘liking’ a girl’s Facebook photo from 2009.
My mom is downstairs with my husband asking him if his co-workers are “fun” and “cute”. He’s miserable and I’m crying laughing. #BadWife
Walmart is always a good place to see someone in the process of hitting their child.
I’m not hungover. I just like to wear my sunglasses when I open the fridge door. It makes me look cool.
“Have some balls. Speak your mind. Keep it real.” – People with anonymous Twitter accounts
New research in early toy-purchase psychology has found that the majority of parents subconsciously hope their children become xylophonists.
If you can’t beat them, try again when they’re sleeping.
Now whenever a kid draws a Rectangle they have to pay Apple a dollar.
I abuse music so badly. I’m always like: make me feel good, watch me dance, listen to me sing, improve my mood. She must be sick of my shit.
I’m the cutest thing since sliced kittens.