Not sure why someone would throw this gum in the urinal. It’s not even hard yet
His flabber was gasted 😂
these can’t be my only options
My 6yo told me his classmate has a pet wolf, and it’s giving him some ideas about our current pet situation
4yo was mad that I sang the “wrong” lyrics to his version of Baby Shark. Then:
4yo: Mommy, I’m sorry I was rude to you.
Me (🥺): Oh, baby, thank you for apologizing. I forgive you.
4yo: Now YOU say YOU are sorry.
Me: …why?
4yo: 😠 Of being RUDE and singing the WRONG WORDS.
tfw you realize …
Me: [wisely] what goes around, comes around
Ferris wheel operator: [annoyed] please stop saying that every time you go past
My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM
First I was a pebble..
“AI is coming for your jobs” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it
hardest line in real life
there’s music for literally every activity
I buried one of those 12ft skeletons in my yard. Gonna make one hell of a true crime podcast someday.