Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people.
I’m forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.
I’m forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.
I’m forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.
Just found out men don’t need prostate exams till at least 40. I think my doctor has a lot of explaining to do.
Just found out men don’t need prostate exams till at least 40. I think my doctor has a lot of explaining to do.
Twitter: “Where people are openly Gay and secretly Republican”
Twitter: “Where people are openly Gay and secretly Republican”
Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you dont know the man & he doesnt know youre eating his popcorn
I’ll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that’s me.
I’ll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that’s me.
You can’t run a country like a business. If you did, you’d have to pay profits to investors, meaning citizens. And that’s socialism! Bye!
You can’t run a country like a business. If you did, you’d have to pay profits to investors, meaning citizens. And that’s socialism! Bye!
Sleep deprivation- because sometimes you cant afford drugs or alcohol but still want to feel delusional and irrational.
Sleep deprivation- because sometimes you cant afford drugs or alcohol but still want to feel delusional and irrational.