Call me old fashioned but I still drink to get drunk.
My next-door-neighbor is such a bitch that regardless of what she says to me; I simply reply, “You’re barking up the wrong tree.”
My next-door-neighbor is such a bitch that regardless of what she says to me; I simply reply, “You’re barking up the wrong tree.”
Roger Clemens is pitching for a Texas team named the Sugar Land Skeeters? They sound more like an Atlanta Strip Club than a baseball team.
Roger Clemens is pitching for a Texas team named the Sugar Land Skeeters? They sound more like an Atlanta Strip Club than a baseball team.
I fell asleep listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and woke up illiterate.
I fell asleep listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and woke up illiterate.
Just tested the structural integrity of a door frame with my face. It’s pretty solid.
Just tested the structural integrity of a door frame with my face. It’s pretty solid.
Charlie Sheen’s herpes have herpes and those herpes have gonorrhea and that gonorrhea had an abortion in high school.
Charlie Sheen’s herpes have herpes and those herpes have gonorrhea and that gonorrhea had an abortion in high school.
7yo: “Who’s singing this?” Me: “Franz Ferdinand.” 7yo: “But, he died in 1914.” Me:
7yo: “Who’s singing this?” Me: “Franz Ferdinand.” 7yo: “But, he died in 1914.” Me:
I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.