Nerds were always ugly or goofy looking. Then from nowhere emerged the hot girl nerd and the limitations of Nerdom crumpled before our eyes.
Whenever I motorboat a stripper, I spend more time on the left boob cuz its closer to the heart. I’m a die hard romantic.
If I tell you I’m running 10 minutes behind, that means 10 minutes later than normal. So, 20 minutes-ish.
I’m not the prettiest girl, or the smartest, I don’t have a perfect body, and this started out as a tweet but is now my suicide note.
My favorite Disney princess is Ariel. Gotta love a woman who can’t talk for half the movie.
Ladies, other women should be our allies, not our enemies. Nobody understands the heart of a woman like another woman. You’re still pretty.
When I get sad, I just think about the vast Universe and the fact that I’m stuck on this rock with a bunch of idiots. Then I get sadder.
Why I’m starting to hate Twitter…
I’ve hit rock bottom so many times, I’m building a second home there.
Comment: London’s WorldPride? It’s really WorldShame
Laughter is like a face orgasm. If he can give me that, he earned an audition for giving me an actual orgasm.
Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is not.
It was love at first sight. Then she mentioned she didn’t drink. Thus ended the shortest relationship of my life.
All I’m saying is that gay dudes butt blast each other for a reason. The asshole has the most sense receptors per area of any body part.
Rome fell because it was run by idiots who used letters as numbers.