Kristen Stewart seems like one of those missing milk carton kids who was raised by their kidnapper.
I’m tired of 19 year olds thinking they’re special for being hot. You’re 19 You’re supposed to be hot. Call me when you’re 45 and hot.
Thanks, I wrote the tweet. There’s no need to reiterate it back to me with quotation marks.
I only had kids so I’d have a valid excuse for always being late
The kids of today have no respect. They’re rude, lazy and swear to make themselves look big and cool
Nothing at all like us…
I added someone as a friend 2 years ago but they haven’t responded. They must be really busy.
Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “East.”
Girls, your friends lied when they said chopping your hair off looked cute. They are just happy that their man wont want to bang you
The door to door bible people just skipped my house! See, all it takes is trying to kiss the guy and he wont be back (until 3am)
Funny how whenever I ask someone how a girl I knew is doing, the first thing they say is “married.”
Like that’s gonna stop me!
First, that jerk cut me off in traffic, then he stole my parking space, and then his stupid car got paint on my key!
I go to the bank wearing a Ski mask because I want everyone to know how athletic I am.
Woke up this morning with a pillow over my face, hearing someone muttering “…it would be so easy…”
Just found a hilarious message in a bottle on the beach. I decided it needed to be RT’d, so I threw it back in.
It’s not about how funny you are, it’s about how funny people think you are. And the majority of people are mentally retarded.