I have CDO. It’s like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be.
Four year olds can’t even go for cigarettes or anything. Four year olds are useless.
If you have to ask if it’s too early to drink…you’re an amateur & we can’t be friends
I’m not sure, but if I died in your arms tonight, that makes you a suspect. At the very least.
Twitter is my favorite MMORPG ever. I just say nasty shit and then I get to collect awesome people like experience points.
Talking about me behind my back? Good. My ass likes attention.
I’m sorry, you’ll have to repeat that. I’m not fluent in nonsense.
When I go out in public with my brother; people think he is my boyfriend, which is crazy because we broke up over 12 years ago.
If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
God: sends you to hell for aborting your ‘child’.
God: killed his only son.
And that, ladies & gentlemen, is religion in a nutshell.
Never judge someone because they sin differently than you.
I can’t believe I used to talk to people.
Stole my neighbors family portrait & got it tattooed on my back. Now I’m standing in their living room facing the wall 2 see if they notice.
Kristen Stewart seems like one of those missing milk carton kids who was raised by their kidnapper.
I’m tired of 19 year olds thinking they’re special for being hot. You’re 19 You’re supposed to be hot. Call me when you’re 45 and hot.