Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is not.
It was love at first sight. Then she mentioned she didn’t drink. Thus ended the shortest relationship of my life.
All I’m saying is that gay dudes butt blast each other for a reason. The asshole has the most sense receptors per area of any body part.
Rome fell because it was run by idiots who used letters as numbers.
I’m so glad the “you break it, you buy it” policy doesn’t apply to hymens.
I won’t believe in God until “Thou shalt puffeth, puffeth once more and passeth to your neighbor” becomes a Commandment.
I admit it. If I were a man, I’d be a creepy @ guy for sure.
When someone says, “that’s ridiculous, no one will ever do that”, I’m the guy that says, “hold my beer. I’ll do it.”
Always blow your man. Pamdé went two weeks without blowing Anakin and we all know what happened to that dude.
Wish I was alive in the 70’s and got to look forward to releases by Zeppelin, Floyd and Sabbath, instead of being ear-raped by today’s shit.
It’s always fun to put a rainbow bumper sticker on your homophobic friend’s car.
Summer is here! You know how I know? Cause it’s kinda hot outside. And because my panties have little watermelons on them.
I will walk by you fifty times to make sure you know I’m ignoring you.
Her: Do you wanna do it?
Me: Do what?
Her: It.
Me: What’s it?
Her: You know… It.
Me: Oh… I call first player.
Her: Wait, what?
If you wanna be classy, just use the word “whilst.”
Example: I know I just met you, but can you cum on my face whilst I pinch my nipples?