My dog burst through the screen door yesterday so I’m dressing her up as the Kool-Aid man for Halloween.
When I can she’s been typing her reply for 5 mins.
Trying out a new chicken fried steak recipe tonight because I think it’s important for my kids to learn to reject lots of different kinds of foods.
Like many people of my generation I was brought up to live my life believing in the virtue of delayed gratification.
I’m now in my 60s and it’s too soon to say whether it was worth it.
The next James Bond should be played by a duck. But not a female duck, obviously. That would be unrealistic.
when they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?
So wait, witch. You’re telling me I should only drive a stick?
OK Broomer
Me: Can you do MyFitnessPal with me?
Husband: *immediately loses 8lbs*
And now…a ‘joke’.
“WAITER! I’d like to complain about my lion pie”
“What seems to be the problem, madam?”
“It’s ROAR in the middle”
“Apologies, madam. I shall bring you the menu so you can choose an alternative MANE course”
*coughs*
There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.
They should make a movie where Hannibal becomes giant and is eating everyone. Then he watches the Ring tape on a giant screen and Sadako comes out and is huge and they fight
“And what is it about this job that appeals to you?”
“Well, I can fit it in around my lifestyle. Also being able to pardon myself for the crimes I’ve committed”
who can I pay to hit me in the head with a baseball bat so I go into a coma for exactly 2 weeks and one day
Joseph Smith, 1833
