To air is humane, to forgave, divide.
Typo quota for the day.
I always say I’ll sleep when I’m dead, but I’m pretty sure I’ll still find a way to stay up late.
The only entities which will survive a nuclear holocaust will be the cockroaches and a book packed by Flipkart.
Hand-sanitizer gives you that clean, my hands are still dirty, feeling.
Ima weiner. Damn I meant winer. Dammit I’m a winner. Hucked on fonics it made me look like an moroon.
Yes I run a porn site. It was an accident.
I always take my kids on vacation during drug awareness week…because there’s just some things they should learn from their dad.
If Usher ever worked in a theater, his nametag could be “Usher Usher.” I’m sorry for that joke but I’m actually addicted to the send button.
I bring our baby to the bar so I can throw her at people and slurp down their cocktails while they’re trying to catch her.
“LOOK AT MY ASSHOLE.” -Cats
It’s not a dog if it fits in your handbag.
I haven’t read a single History book that explains how Asians got out of their Pokeballs.
I keep my wine glasses on the top shelf to make sure I stretch daily.
Anyone else having a near life experience today?
I’m not above selling your kidney or my oldest child for a phone charger. I mean, if it came down to it. Not just like for fun.