ME: *tells my kid anything*
KID: i know i know i knowME: *asks my kid anything*
KID: i don’t know
Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.
My husband has put a couple of watches on eBay. Which has made me really happy as I can now ask how many people are watching his watches several times a day.
Fries, cheese curds and gravy on a crushed cracker crust.
Poutine on the Ritz.
Love the Deepseek app, using it to organize all my finances and passwords. They make it so easy
Reminds me of when I was young and the landscaper used to let me run bare feet over the freshly cut grass. Those days are lawn gone.
[during sex]
Can you pass the mashed potatoes?
All these self driving vehicles..It’s only a matter of time that we hear a country song about his truck leaving him
A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.
if i dont respond to your reply to my tweet it is for one of two reasons:
1. the conversation is over, there is nothing left to say
2. you stumped me. i cant think of a witty response. you won.
but i will NEVER be disclosing which is which
can i punch you in the face but like romantically?
I lost a peanut butter m&m in my bed and now I’m afraid about where I’m gonna find it
everyone please keep my 15 yo in your thoughts and prayers today. Because of a plumbing issue that isn’t fixed yet, he has to walk about 20 steps further to the next closest bathroom from his room. He is “sick of this crap”.
If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.
I love people with self awareness, so yes I hate 98% of you.