long lost
making my kids wear corduroy pants so they can’t sneak up on me
Frog purse.
all that yoga finally paid off
Amazon is working on a “Carrie” TV series. Man, it’s about time Stephen King got one of his books adapted! It’s great to see his work finally getting a little recognition. Bravo to Amazon for being open to fresh ideas from new authors.
the girlies are turning into genghis khan
today at work this lady said “it’s too bad you don’t have a tip jar. i wanted to leave you guys a tip” i said we do have a tip jar and pointed to it and she said “oh…” and walked away 😭
So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water until I read it backwards…
Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake
Walking home and massively drunk after a rubbish party, my life not the best it’s ever been, when a dog barked at me from someone’s garden, I barked back and ended up in a blazing row with it, all in dog language. God knows what its owners must’ve thought.