*me brushing my daughter’s hair
my watch: are you working out?
paycheck hit i’m at michaels arts and crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael
one time when i was a kid i fell off my skateboard & hit my head so hard i was briefly able to communicate with bees
I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”:
“This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”
It’s pretty apt that the i is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.
Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it little dude, life is hard
Welcome to your late 40s from now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”
“Are you ready to apologize to your sister yet?”
