@mariana057 If an Apple Store is in disrepair, is it an iSore?
Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.
If you watch an Apple store get robbed, are you an iWitness?
Muscle memory, but it’s the Amazon driver pulling up to my house on the odd day he doesn’t have a package for us.
My one egret is eating at the aviary. My food had a heron it.
Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles
It always starts out “you’re so funny” and ends with “oh dear… oh my god… wtf”
I admire my upstairs neighbours’ commitment to cleanliness as they fire up their diesel-powered vacuum to clean their hardwood floors at 11:43 pm
Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch…or a vacation…or just going to work in general
if at first you don’t succeed that’s so embarrassing why are you so bad at this
very clever of hansel and gretel to leave a trail of bread crumbs through the forest, since that is an environment in which there are famously no bread-crumb consuming creatures.
So, showing you my sweet excel spreadsheet formulas ISN’T foreplay? I really don’t know what to do with that information.
7: Mom! Will you play Uno with me?? I already have it set up and I definitely didn’t look at the cards before!
Me: Well I’m convinced.
Counting Crows in the 90s: “They took all the trees and put ’em in a tree museum and they charged the people a dollar and a half to see them.”
Me in 2023: “Wow that’s a good price.”
Love how you can tuck a kid in normally and come back 20 minutes later and find their leg over their head, their foot in their mouth and their pajamas on the floor