(from the bottom of a well) is this the trap
Like sleeping!
Ah 1994, I remember it like it was thirty years ago.
*starts crying*
I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.
you can’t prove that threatening a toilet doesn’t work
It just seems like one would see a lot more data while flying through the clouds.
Playing Silent Hill and honestly there’s a fair amount of noise in this game.
The Universe can have my atoms back.
I don’t want them anymore.
Paranormal investigator: “Who’s there?”
Gen X ghost: “Your mom.”
Normal people: we want a sensible & intuitive home design
Modern architects: we moved the first floor to the second floor and made the stairs into an infinite loop.
Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.
husband: do you know where the thing is
me: could I buy a noun
Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume
Me: Street magic
My daughter was asking where her plastic katana was and when she found it, held it up and said “it’s poorly made but it’ll do”