Science question: can somebody please explain how tiny, tiny swimsuits make Olympians dive better?


Landlocked countries with beach volleyball teams: who do you think you’re fooling?


Some days I want to leave everything and just run away with him. Other days I want to own 3 baby dragons and be fireproof and naked.


I sent 117 texts and called you 82 times but you must be busy so I came over to tell you the restraining order expired and I still love you!


I should probably never be a mom considering I’d rather drop a baby in a puddle than my iPhone


Finally saw the new Batman. SPOILER ALERT: the Bane character is up to no good.


I don’t make spelling and grammatical errors I invent new languages. You ignorant Count.


I love the smell of a camp fire. It reminds me of the night we kille….nnn…..I just love smell of campfires.


The world is full of terrible people, but there’s none so evil as the man who fries bacon right next door to the gym.


I can’t believe I used to talk to people.