Staying in an AirBNB: “The key is buried in the yard, use the pink metal detector to find it. Kitchen has 3 utensils you’ve never seen before and 7 bottles of spices no one likes. The rabid wolverine in the crawl space is friendly. Please re-tile the shower when you check out.”
Well if this doesn’t sum up 2024 perfectly I don’t know what does
he’s mad at me cause i keep replying “🧯” to every girl that comments “🔥” on his pictures
We made a comic about a space heater.
been watching all the James Bond movies in chronological order
it’s truly incredible how many times the fate of the entire world rests on James Bond’s ability to travel to a scenic destination and have sex with a beautiful woman
😼🖥️
i have one of these at work and when i get bored i plug it into the outlets
I miss seein tweets like “last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay” who did that one
Me: I’m sorry. I never know what to do with my hands, especially when I’m nervous
Driving instructor: *screaming intensifies
Make me look younger
