Imagine the excruciating discomfort of having nothing to say to a child and choosing to compliment it on its gait. I myself don’t have to imagine.
Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude. You aren’t the one paying for groceries. Stop.
this one is dumb but worth the zoom-in, i swear
I wish I could call my dad’s therapist and be like “hey what exactly are you working on over there???”
Multitask? I can barely unitask
surely this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson
I reached for the kitchen scissors and they weren’t there so someone is very very lucky this cheese opened on the tear line like it’s supposed to.
I don’t know who to tell this to but I noticed that chips are less broken than before. Getting a lot of large chips in the bag these days. So whoever is doing that thank you
A new study done by economists says the American dream now costs approximately 4.4 million dollars or one roll of duct tape and two to three celebrity children
A rapper that raps for hours on end just to make the show longer.
Fiibuster Rhymes.
Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m ab to ruin her day with a bath
Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking
