My 8 yo has learned how to play Chuck Berry’s “my ding a ling” on the piano. I’m proud and also in hell. Please help.
A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is GLUCOSE GUARDIAN.
Like an alarm clock but it’s your toddler standing next to your bed with a mascara wand whispering “I make you beautiful”.
How I know my 4yo’s in a little salty mood today:
Huggies commercial: “I’m a big kid now!”
4yo: “…no you’re not…”
When I was really young my dad told me if you hit a traffic cone with your car you have to go back home and start your journey again… and i’m not telling how old I was when I learnt this was a lie
*runs away from Satan*
*runs towards cake*
I have a magnetic* personality
*Clingy and obsessive.
My kids don’t enjoy cleaning so much as they enjoy spraying cleaning supplies everywhere
Wife and daughter are baking which means the air is filled with people arguing about baking soda.
My 3yo (who is extremely clean for a toddler) keeps crying at mealtimes because “I don’t like watching the baby eat, she’s so messy” and honestly, same
“Dude! You rock!”
– stated excitedly“… You stone! You worse than senseless thing!”
– held back 93 times out of 100
Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.
I took a shower bc hobo is an aesthetic not a scent
If Dean is Dean then why is Sean Shawn?
Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.