does bisexual mean twice a sexual, or once every other sexual
This is exactly why pilots do a ‘walk around’ prior to flying. If not, the low tyre pressure on this aircraft (left in picture) would not have been detected. #Safety
Stop picking up fawns.
You are not a Disney princess.
And even if you are, don’t.
My friend has six kids and not once have they sang about going to bed. What in the VonTrapp is going on there?
dad: you losing weight
me: are you asking me bc i look skinnier or because i changed my diet
dad: yes
My daughter is begging to get her ears pierced and promised she’d “still” listen to me even with holes in her ears.
I bought a big bag of M&Ms thinking I could have 3 every night for a snack, as if I’ve never met me before.
I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on
A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for giving her a sister and not a brother 10 years ago.
I thought I heard a noise last night so I got my bat and crept into the kitchen just to find out it was my own stomach grumbling.
Before you react, just know that everyone’s is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Literally everyone.
Dave’s out back punching a hornet’s nest. Monica’s wrestling her grandma in the bathroom.
Nobody knows why. It’s absolute chaos.
them: you look just like a friend of mine
me: she sounds really pretty
My kid handed me a tooth tonight and said “that’ll be $5” so I guess we’re done with the tooth fairy
My 5yo just told me all about one of his favorite classes: cafeteria
My cousin Clevis says he bought a chihuahua, but I’m pretty sure he just shaved a squirrel.