Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again bc I have a terrible memory
life: do your best
me: (doing my best)
life: no a different best
I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.
I bought someone’s groceries today and it felt really good… I took a cart that looked like it had what I needed, bought it and left. Saved a lot of time grocery shopping. Amazing feeling.
Welcome to your 50’s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.
Ive started investing in stocks… Mainly beef, chicken and vegetables. One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
Was pretty pleased my 6th grader took a break from hiding in his room gaming w/friends to bike 6 blocks to the library and meet friends.
“So what did you do there?!” I asked eagerly.
“There’s 3 computers in a row so we can all play at once.”
At least he biked 12 blocks?
I don’t want to brag about how cultured I am, but I’ve visited the outside of many historical buildings that charge an entrance fee
very few whales can do a kickflip but also very few skateboarders could eat 40 million krill in one day, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses
It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.
5: this one time i slept in till like 7am!
Me: *holding back tears* I remember
A perfectionist walked into a bar. Apparently it wasn’t set high enough.
Last night I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a screwdriver. I turned a few heads.
My wife keeps buying me chunkier and chunkier wheels for my bike, and I’m getting thicken tyred of it.