Is this thing on ?
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I’m just a girl
In a room full of people
Wondering how the hell I managed to miss my chair again
Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly.
It’s brave, unless you fail. Then it’s just stupid.
Your Ex is like spilt milk. If you put newspaper over them its like the mistake never happened.
Me: *applies temporary tattoos*
Mom: Unicorn tats?
Me: I’m in a gang.
Mom: Ha! With who, Lisa Frank?
Me: You just made a powerful enemy.
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
“Actually we’ve 5% the tuna we once had. 10% of sharks. 5% of cod”
I’m bad at consoling dumped friends
My fantasy is having two men at once.
Have you seen the new movie, “Constipation”? It may not have come out yet.
Uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh huh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh huh
Me, Rap battling