@flashember: [Ariel climbs Rapunzel's hair with a dinglehopper between her teeth] "There can only be one socially awkward Princess," she vows savagely.

@eugene_bosco: Life is not a FAIRY TALE. If you lose your shoes 👟👞 at midnight, YOU ARE DRUNK

@GrantTanaka: Nice Confederate flag bro, way to commemorate coming in second place in a civil war.

@leakypod: spotify: hey remember those songs u played nonstop this year me: yes spotify: are u sick of them me: [nods] so sick of them spotify: would u like to listen to all of them again :) me: yes :)

@notalogin: You burn more calories chasing after your cat than you get from eating it. It's the celery of pets.